1/17/2006

1/17/2006 - 12:00

Yes, that is correct, 2006. You have been surfing the web and lost, oh, about three years of your life. Alarmed? Don't get too out of sorts. Studies have shown that Americans spend two-thirds of their life in the bathroom, anyway. The other third is spent sleeping. So really you've beat the odds. I'll fill you in on what you missed:

1. We never went to war with Iraq. We trade freely now and gasoline is $.26 per gallon. CNN, AOL Time Warner and FOX News were boycotted, disbanded and berated for war-mongering. Ha!

2. George Bush is frying popcorn shrimp in a trailer which parks on the midways of county fairs near you. He doesn't get to count the money at the end of the day nor does he have anything to do with public relations.

Any questions? Leave a comment, I'll do my best to answer. Have a great 2006!